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Tweets
There it is. Unbelievable they wrote this all down. https://t.co/x7wNyYotKJ
My belief there’s going to be a Sherlock or Luther crossover with Lupin in the Netflix TV universe comes closer to reality. https://t.co/CVqlClnFBX
Robinhood & Coinbase recruiters working overtime... https://t.co/puxVdx1w17 via @nickwingfield
*Taps mic*
Some professional news! https://t.co/4Aq5emltT5

for all its talk about AR/metaverse, Facebook is woefully behind Snapchat here in both product execution and, ironically, reach https://t.co/MFbGbgFxZN
Rolling Stone reporters getting really lucky here. https://t.co/80RQwrZSPu
I'm not dreaming! Honored to be joining @nytimesbooks alongside these wonderful women, @magicmolly and @JenLouiseWilson https://t.co/IbwHdiWg93
@NICKIMINAJ Hi Nicki! Big fan, down to hang on IG anytime. But I think you meant @piersmorgan, who sucks, I agree
Holy moley, do I have good news. The mighty @lisatozzi is joining @RollingStone as its digital director!!!! https://t.co/pCE76CcX6i
I've never read Sally Rooney. Every time I looked over at my wife's laptop screen while she was watching the series though (I was gaming), it was either sex or a good-looking guy moping. So I get the appeal. Those are popular things.
they keep making faster supercomputers for my pocket but all i use my phone for is twitter
Haven’t seen this many so a dress since @benyt was running BuzzFeed
Remarkable win, inside the labor movement, for digital media outlets unionists https://t.co/k5MKYRsy60
RT @mattdpearce: There are 12,311 LAPD employees, and 2,600 of them are seeking religious exemptions to vaccination. https://t.co/QFSJ90ttWA
RT @maggieNYT: A focus after the midterms is going to be certification of the next presidential race, something a lot of folks seem to be s…
RT @meslackman: When public health is politicized, people die. @Karan_Singhs files an exclusive report.
https://t.co/9QljBLQSzh
RT @AYReport: The closing of @Bklyner, the diminishing coverage of Brooklyn, & the tilt toward p.r
https://t.co/iTpRM6VopB
+a glimmer of ga…
RT @kevincollier: Updated this story with NSO Group's extraordinarily noncommittal statement:
"NSO Group will continue to provide intellig…
Great column today by @benyt via @NYTimes https://t.co/PlW3xOoN7o
Every day for the last six months, I've microdosed magic mushrooms. Never felt healthier, happier, or had greater mental clarity. The rhythm of life is smoother; I sleep phenomenonally well. Am tweeting this because psilocybin is nature's gift, and it should be accessible to all.
another good WSJ story
this is really where @brianboland's public statements about Facebook's willingness to examine itself seem to ring true. Some internal research is conducted, never really sees the light of day unless journalists dig it up. https://t.co/0RiCHbEdNn
mostly we get nebulous hand waving about Facebook being a net positive rahter than a net negative for the world, from the top down, but for people so obsessed with data there seems like there's been no effort to quantify that (that I've seen)
damn........ the dress worked https://t.co/71XlscC9OX
breaking a longstanding personal commitment to never tweeting about a celebrity death to say: fuck
I get incorrectly tagged in a lot of wrong tweets but this one is going to be ... particularly bad https://t.co/LSpINPnQrJ
Got attacked by N*c*i M*n*j stans today (I tweeted about balls) and was impressed at how well Twitter hid the replies. I wouldn’t have even known about them if friends hadn’t reached out to me in concern!
Nice to see some progress on the anti-harassment stuff.
while i am rooting for @McLarenF1, I must stan @LewisHamilton https://t.co/kD55WTqKe6
please confirm you are aware @BuzzFeedNews https://t.co/zJbLtYGy55
Reading David Foster Wallace so i can tell my therapist (female) all about it
@henrymance Why are you pressing send with a tennis racket?
Public displays of messaging don't matter, I tell myself as I open Photoshop to edit AOC into a Mark Fischer quote
@CaseyNewton That's what they call it in Southie. You're ok.
I am absolutely devastated about Norm Macdonald. Norm had the most unique comedic voice I have ever encountered and he was so relentlessly and uncompromisingly funny. I will never laugh that hard again. I'm so sad for all of us today.
I’m breaking down exactly this on @popchatcbc this week! Listen to tomorrow’s episode where I tail against society’s failure to address the issues that keep women vulnerable to these types of predators https://t.co/QI6naNToJT
Some personal news (a divisive phrase, I know!) - couldn’t be more thrilled to be joining such an incredibly talented team, on and off air. Very much looking forward to cracking on with the job. https://t.co/Vq4UyiMljq
fuck Denver Airport. not because of the NWO. the layout is just stupid
BREAKING: One in 500 US residents has died of Covid-19, according to a @CNN analysis of Johns Hopkins University and US Census Bureau data.
This piece by @rebexxxxa (and The Goods newsletter generally!) is really worth reading when thinking not just about the influencer economy, but what a celebrity actually "is" now https://t.co/jWdXOISLFv
The vast majority of people who 'speculate' on apartments rent them out. I really don't think people understand how easy it is to hire a property management company and how little sense it makes to leave a unit sitting empty.
https://t.co/DIPegp24IV
In 2015, I wrote about Andre Jacobs, a solitary confinement prisoner who got certified as a paralegal. When he was abused by guards, he won hundreds of thousands of dollars representing himself. Now Andre is free and has a podcast. Wishing him all the luck https://t.co/0KJ3QUqYkU
We NEED to talk about Rihanna's look
I think we can all agree that Hailey Bieber
We are gagging for this serve!👏👏👏
Emma Raducanu just shut this whole thing down 🔥
the social media manager: https://t.co/81IddEk0nn

Reshuffle boring as hell. Add a Blue Eyes White Dragon at least
there’s a bird in this tree above me that is making duck noises sarcastically. notably it is not a duck
Perhaps after reading your Sally Rooney book you could have conversations with some mates
My interview with @shonfaye on why trans liberation will liberate us all, why it's tied to the struggle against capitalism - and so much more!
It is 🔥🔥🔥
https://t.co/OODQIldPRA
Another one for the 'rising star' collection, now just a white dwarf https://t.co/FRK89Hb2Mj

Nicki angloposting is a truly powerful moment on this timeline. And yes, i am absolutely updating the notes for tomorrow's recording.
if you would like to see a photo of me my best friend & our 100+ small home grown potatoes plz follow me on insta https://t.co/Bncd5TRuQP
.@xlorentzen on the relationship math equations of BWWAY https://t.co/0obgCZKJU6 https://t.co/qHdPWvkhl6

(‘us’ and ‘our’ = millenials, ‘your’ = gen z, Charli’s generation.) there’s more to it than my glib summary…the ‘creator economy’ that has metastasized since is a unique iteration of the gig economy that was developing at the time. maybe more on this later.
The way new-age-flavored Instagram conspiracy theorists use “woke” is incredible https://t.co/fgSgvudWEt

hi it's me, the person who doesn't believe the protest dress was an effective form of protest. anyway i'm just going to spend the next 26 hours of my life talking about it and then probably will bring it up five or six more times this year
if i were invited to the met gala i would wear a shirt, probably. possibly a nice shacket over the top
@HKesvani the constant stress of how unreliable it always was. used to have to go in on thameslink and when it went wrong, which was very often, it was nightmarish. The tube is a much more awful typical experience (toxic air, cramped carriages) but also way more reliable.
we are so fucked. absolutely doomed. https://t.co/zp3splwbvm

yo i did NOT just prepare for and record the episode AND finish the first draft of the piece this evening. now that i'm british i'm fucking unstoppable.
Being an irony lad with a blue tick and “guardian writer” in your bio is extremely challenging — and that’s very sympathetic
@HKesvani Abi and I gonna have our own gala. At the pub.
this morning’s attempt at doing push-ups drew a “no!!!!!!” from my trainer, go me i am iron girl boss
A Muslim family was killed in Canada just 3 months ago. So why are leaders not talking about Islamophobia? | CBC News https://t.co/dFcAFIsbxC
@10kpostspod Nobody yet posted my favourite screencap. Also if you recognise every joke in this you need to log off https://t.co/TBpFEuvARd

@inthesedeserts @10kpostspod It took all the willpower in my body to not put in the pixelated nate for like 5 frames
@HKesvani Breaking: Johnson declares Britain to lead charge to reinvade Afghanistan, says Biden should "trust in the heart of the cards"
It's not that all the people saying there's nothing trans in the matrix are transphobes, but it is that there are sides, and this is the same instinct that makes cis people furiously, insistently deny the matrix being trans. This person is frankly just being more honest https://t.co/oBUQYQZxXk

@PrhRoy the matrix is becoming illegal - just as the new movie predicts 🤔
We had the met gala but what about the Matt Gala. Just 400 dudes called Matt wearing their khaki trousers and plaid shirts being really awkward as hundreds of photographers take their photos
No idea if this is useful but my top tip for being a productive freelancer is working on your ability to compartmentalise stuff. My day today:
8-8:30am: Edits on one story (1,200wds), copy on a second (300wds)
8:30-8:45: Interview
8:45-9:00: Start on third story (1,400wds)
ever feel like we're back in that one scene from the big short https://t.co/fJ0vq0DMoi https://t.co/oJjKWb1jN4

still can’t get over AOC’s dress 😍 https://t.co/Aydy2HR888

Richard Rorty on the problem with the Fisher/Zizek/Jameson stuff https://t.co/nZPS4876hF https://t.co/SHp1c4GM1H

@HKesvani @alexeptable @PrhRoy Agreed https://t.co/POZrAeEG7k

had an essay in my mind about this for a while. guyana is to american south asian culture what uganda is to english south asian culture. both come with their own history of otherness and lost identity, but just completely erased from the south asian subconscious
it’s mad just how little we include guyana as part of south asian culture and diaspora. it’s a majority indian origin country due to post slavery indentured labour. yet no one seems to really recognise it
dominic raab, crying, watching elizabeth truss mp on bbc news telling the taliban their decision to ban imports of british stilton is 'a disgrace'
showing up at the met gala in an assless batman costume with "fathers 4 justice" written across both cheeks
politicians talk about slamming borders shut as though it’s a garage roller door that comes down?? BORDERS AREN’T REAL
is there anything as exciting as a fresh new Moleskine notepad
@PrhRoy Looking forward to seeing you and Hussein in plugsuits
A disgraceful move that will destroy what people love about Brick Lane and will shaft the local community. Yet another painful example of Labour treating the people who support it with maximum contempt just because big property owners want something https://t.co/8GcporX9uW
We all running today? Nice lunchtime exercise to break the crushing monotony of the 9-5?
Anyone else occasionally feel fully on edge about going back into lockdown?? I just feel like it's inevitable somehow and not knowing when is doing my head in
@HKesvani millin about spillin their feelings in the air
@HKesvani she doesn’t name a single kind of monster
🤷🏽♀️ This is a “veteran” of the “old guard” that we’re apparently meant to regard as newsroom mentors, as opposed to senile racists. https://t.co/Z0bxmjHa8Q
@HKesvani This is all some very complicated promotional thing for the new Matrix movie right?
@HKesvani Used to come in on the sidcup line and the number of frustrated commuter fight clubs I’d see in the mornings beggared belief. Hopefully Crossrail helps with capacity.
@HKesvani SE is a mad example. The idea that a large amount of the workforce powering our capital city were absolutely beholden to a service so incredibly unreliable, that treated them with utter contempt, just seems mad now. Years where government could have addressed it and just nothing.
@HKesvani It was outreach to the two people on the planet who are simultaneously unaware of any wealth gap in the United States and extremely interested in the Met Gala.
The Raging 2020s is the book of the yr @AlecJRoss tackles most important questions about how companies, countries & people need to adapt to extinguish the political and economic fires that are currently raging. A must read for the solutions minded! https://t.co/NytM9LGkbf
@HKesvani If they're not nice or clean, where do we field our complaints?
@HKesvani be careful out there with that blue check of yours
demanding that shamima begum tells the nation her views on the new sally rooney novel
RT @Bernstein: I've never read Sally Rooney. Every time I looked over at my wife's laptop screen while she was watching the series though (…
RT @jscros: pleased to announce that i have finally finished reading @DavidKlion's marathon-length examination of gossip girl, which, like…
@repeattofade all im going to say is that a lot of them are going to learn facts about evangelion they never wanted
Off for a nap, see you in a few hours https://t.co/u9S9DWhzTy

@elenacresci I am stepping into the real octagon (of ideas)
think its time to admit that Jay Z's Monster verse is a lot better than Nicki's
Re. the Nicki/Inflated testicles thing, we spoke with Annie about the tendency to exaggerate, and sensationalise stories about vaccines online, how they aren't that dissimilar from viral chain messaging, and why simply pointing it out as 'misinformation' exacerbates the problem https://t.co/PBzlksiCn1
@GoingMedieval dont like it there's the door https://t.co/GHV8yRnyyx

say what you will about the taliban but they would never do a cabinet reshuffle
RT @aishagani: I reported on this story extensively at the time and after all these years it’s odd it’s still being covered in the jihadi/…
Huge shout out as always to @DaddySuperYacht for putting this together, and, crucially, purchasing the weird "ice cream sandwich" that I can still taste weeks later
New HUMAN ERROR - this week @rocknrolga and I talk about food tech, why the future of food is small, smooth squares (?), the legacy of the Juicero, and what happens when tech sees "enjoying a meal" as an efficiency problem
https://t.co/bbiqhglzm4
RT @IdahoBones: the meme wars have begun in the world of outlaw motorcycle gangs. Pagans started allowing corrections officers in and are a…
Posters with 50k followers +
1-3k followers https://t.co/rvEmuRns80

hosting an alternative Met Gala but for niche twitter celebrities and micro-influencers only
I should add that all of this occurs in spite of you never interacting with said person
there is no better kind of relationship than with someone who goes from mutuals, to unfollowing, to muting, to blocking
@tnmntdumpsta this is the matrix. there's a switch at the back if you want to reboot it https://t.co/E8UjjGzqQk

RT @anthonyLfisher: Norm MacDonald absolutely called it like it is on Bill Maher https://t.co/y5g986pftO https://t.co/ApFzbHeLFL

RT @asiaarttours: Listen to the full conversation on Apple/Spotify and other platforms. It's a brilliant rebuttal to those who say their ar…
RT @wychstreet: Tower Hamlets Council have voted 2-1 to put a shopping mall full of High St chains at the heart of Brick Lane, when a great…
@LeavittAlone he knows where Epstein's second black book is
I think she (or people on her team) have good online instincts and know that the only real political currency is to boil the piss of podcasters
what if AOC wore the dress, not because she wanted to make a statement about wealth distribution among rich celebrities, but specifically to make people mad on twitter
wondering how the new matrix movie is going to explain Bluetooth technology
Is there still time to place a “Evangelion 3.0 + 1.0 is proof that Hideaki Anno capitulated to the woke mob” article
designing AOC's dress for next years Met Gala https://t.co/WECEAdDwzn

RT @thefader: "Shoutout to Margaret Thatcher." — Nicki Minaj #QueenRadio
remember when Nicki said this on the radio https://t.co/zodIvClLSa

"What does this have to do with the apocalypse" i would be asked by an E! reporter
I'd wear this (designed by Virgil Abloh) https://t.co/9ihctayVZt https://t.co/LqtVzonWsv

As a result, it creates this strange situation where influencers engage in highly controlled performances for a constantly demanding audience, but also, to define the narratives that digital culture writers use in their attempts to explain the content economy
One thing I think is worth thinking about too is how much digital culture writers/content writers facilitate and contribute to these problems. That the content economy incentivises a more invasive voyeurism that acutely surveils performative acts from influencers
@keewa @alexeptable @PrhRoy one of the most cursed images ive ever seen, thank you
RT @Helenarth: @10kpostspod @Devon_OnEarth started losing my shit the minute this happened https://t.co/rxciikBzFy

I still can’t get over how amazing this trailer is https://t.co/0P0gPbF5dK
.@PhilosophyTube has informed me that it is the 25th anniversary of the greatest work of modern literature, a work that has shaped global culture in ways that Sally Rooney could only ever dream of. I am, of course, talking about the Yu Gi Oh! manga
hi! a friend of mine is looking for a room to rent in London if anyone has leads/in need for a v nice and clean house mate!
Sisters, think of hijab as a lollipop wrapper https://t.co/qGruz0dSrR
RT @Octopimp: This is absolutely canon https://t.co/t60VY6GRhg

No! The Ombudsmen needs to be rougher, and more dishevelled https://t.co/RqSDk2TtLF
@PlutoPuppy for sure- it varies depending on where you are and people obviously have different experiences. at the same time, a lot of this country *is* undeveloped suburbs and cutting them off from cities and towns probably won't help (esp if we're encouraging fewer cars) long term
@LamentablyAwake which is to say that i agree with your original statement, but at the same time I think the idea of limiting community geographically is a wrong step (suburbs are a good example of how it plays out in practice too). If anything we should have more, and better, public transport
@LamentablyAwake I started renting an office space because of the level of isolation that came with wfh getting to me, and also living in an area that, while cheap rent wise, was also very, very far away from where most of my friends and my religious community live
@LamentablyAwake I mean ive been working independently/remotely for the past 4 years, so i wouldn't say its just pandemic induced. it's a difficult method of working, that not a lot of people are fully cut out for!
@Rob_Joyce_ Im v fortunate to be living near a crossrail site, but yes! Years of my life shaved off waiting for southeastern rail services that were constantly late, broke down, carriages that constantly smelled like mcdonalds and piss etc
@LamentablyAwake idk, i also say this as someone who lives in the suburbs, so my idea of cities is somewhat more romanticised. At the same time i don't think encouraging more atomisation of work is the best approach
@LamentablyAwake it does (which is why i think a more balanced approach is a better solution) but i'd also say that working in the same place i sleep, largely being on my own for days at a time etc. also really sucks, and is way more isolating
public transportation is good and we should be wanting more of it. the idea that cities should be gutted because of the convenience of doing an email job from home is really sad, not least because the pandemic should show the value of public space
i find it strange that so much discourse around commuting is about offices rather than the actual act of commuting? I've spent most of my life doing 1hr 30 commutes each way into London, and the issue was never really the distance than resentment of being on the southeastern https://t.co/jN9m99asHQ
Also the trailer by @Devon_OnEarth in PERFECT. i have been watching it on loop for an hour
Really excited that we're revisiting some old @10kpostspod in our new REBUILD series. First up, we talk about Brienne of Snarth, the Alligator tweet and how it explains a lot of discourse around identity politics today
https://t.co/bF3cQgx6Nx https://t.co/GiS0bVGGAZ

@Ankaman616 got myself a nice pair of Mars Yard replicas a few months ago, arrived last week. best moment of 2021 imo
RT @mastersofpod: S3 E21 "The Letter" - @HKesvani joins @Milo_Edwards and @PrhRoy to discuss Seinfeld's politics of baseball and also, cruc…
@10kpostspod @Devon_OnEarth started losing my shit the minute this happened https://t.co/rxciikBzFy

selling some rare / collectible books. will put them on ebay if need be, but going to post them here for first dibs and potential mate's rates.
I reported on this story extensively at the time and after all these years it’s odd it’s still being covered in the jihadi/ isis bride lens. This thread is well-worth a read: https://t.co/ka51PEQnEX
Aaaaand breathe! DEEP SNIFF by Adam Zmith (@AdamZmith) is out today 👃✨💖
Plundering the archives of queer history, from San Francisco to Soho, and from labs, to clubs, DEEP SNIFF shows how these little brown bottles can open up radically free futures.
https://t.co/s8q8JLx1uL https://t.co/7TpH0D9YfI

No gods no masters no pills no data only box https://t.co/dZDbSyLNpZ
@HKesvani Culturally appropriating anglos is extremely funny and therefore not only acceptable but also morally correct
@HKesvani Is there some way Indians saying good morning can be turned into a crypto currency?
@HKesvani I just saw the trailer for the externals and it literally goes “we are the externals. We weren’t there during the previous marvel films because (reasoning)” so tbh if they just went “we are matrix. This is the internet” and showed a jack in the box I’d just accept it
@HKesvani How dare you, this is cultural appropriation https://t.co/zyt3AMBn7X

@ScribblerMcgee @HKesvani yeah and think it's telling that main reason people want to go back to our office is they miss just being around people. even though what counts for 'office culture' is immensely lame and depressing it's still enough of a draw for many given lack of any other sense of community
@HKesvani It should be Gillan Anderson’s boyfriend from Sex Education, Mikael Persbrandt
@HKesvani @ultrasylveon It's the cycle of finding an internet personality with the same internet poisoning as you, then watching as your symptoms/dosage/tolerance diverge to the point they're no longer recognizable
you know the fits will be next level https://t.co/SohCTvqtzc https://t.co/CN5G53E6nC

Obvs spending too much time on Twitter cos my mum just called me "discourse wallah" 🤣
@HKesvani Lack of a need for offices and office culture does not imply a lack of need for socialisation and communal spaces.
We're increasingly isolated from our communities and I don't see that changing by turning offices into substandard housing and letting public transport die.
Resolution 1373 encouraged member states to set up their own blacklists to sanction the support of terror groups. Here’s what that look like in the absence of a UN definition of what actually constitutes “terrorism”: https://t.co/05nJJsPpcs
@Devon_OnEarth @inthesedeserts @10kpostspod You can ( nate ) redo
@HKesvani This is an extremely underappreciated tweet.
@HKesvani New Dead Sea Scroll found in Sedgwick Ave, Bronx. New York. https://t.co/PXQtqjEXF5

I’m teaching a new political theology module this semester; you can see my syllabus here: https://t.co/X4Drkx23b2
@HKesvani I found the true resentment isn't the time it's how you pass it. An hour+ on a train or 45 min on a bike no issue but an hour plus drive was soul shattering.
I cycle now and it's lovely I hope I will never live in a suburban hell hole that forces me to drive to work ever again.
Unpopular opinion - probably the most interesting look of the night.
Kim transcends celebrity to a point where her face is unnecessary to be seen, her shape is what's recognisable.
Neutral becomes bold - she's Malevich's Black Square, but make it fashion. https://t.co/okUfE5GfEv
@HKesvani obviously this classic from the Tom Cruise movie LEGEND https://t.co/xLETRcPJgm

@HKesvani @10kpostspod Hopefully someone in the comments here will enjoy this https://t.co/hjjxcE2O0x
I follow 473 people on Clubhouse. In the last 24 hours, according to the app’s activity tab, four have been online 😬
@CaseyNewton @hunterwalk Always publish the drafts lol
Ah yes, the old Series 3 — SE — Series 7 standard, clear, current, obvious naming scheme for Apple Watch. #AppleEvent
@CaseyNewton We’d have to get past the “but the Cambridge Analytica guy was an academic” thing. It’s more a mental block rather than a true obstacle, but that’s assuming there’s a difference between those things.
I’m at the covid test. I’m at the voting booth. I’m at the combination covid test and voting booth.
The story of the Italian economy in one chart (OECD). Italian real GDP per capita will still be below year 2000 levels even after the post-Covid recovery. Optimism is warranted, but some are glossing over how much of a Herculean task it will be to reverse this decade-long trend. https://t.co/cXMDjS28mi

@PickardJE jim, think theres something wrong with your phone. all the photos seem to be upside down.
@OwenPSanderson @BondHack (was hoping for a "our chief executive, Brian Armstrong, might tweet dumb stuff from time to time")
@OwenPSanderson @BondHack tbf the risk factors are almost exactly the same as the ones in the 10-Q
Accidentally poured my coffee into a bowl this morning, which just goes to show you where I’m at. Happy Tuesday everyone!
The optics of Instagram's CEO attending the Met Gala 12 hours before this story plopped are.... somethin
https://t.co/igq22mzi2q
I'm sorry there is no iPhone that can compete with this situation https://t.co/6N8okUl5Vi
I’ve been alerted to the fact there is a show on NBC coming up called La Brea where a sinkhole opens up in LA and anyone who falls in is transported to the Pleistocene? I feel like a lot of us would willingly jump in that hole.
Can someone @facebook tell me why the links to all of your old announcements are now broken, and the search function is almost unusable?
I’m at the DMV. I’m at the smog check center. I’m at the voting booth. I’m at the combination DMV smog check voting booth. https://t.co/R96yqyf3fl
AMERICAN YOUNG BOY PEFOK JUST SUNK MANCHESTER UNITED🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭🇺🇸🇨🇭
the whales still don’t understand why anyone cares about the met gala
Thank you, @JeffHorwitz, @georgia_wells and @dseetharaman for your amazing reporting. And @RMac18 @CraigSilverman for your work uncovering under-13 IG news earlier this year: https://t.co/iwnhDH2nTJ
A common criticism of FB workers is: If they're unhappy why don't they quit?
I've talked to dozens and it's more complicated than that. Some do feel like they can change the company and they work toward that. Then they come up against the bureaucracy.
https://t.co/Gvl5Ww40CC
@RMac18 While you're there can you get me some pizza or tacos?
@17Ladybug @MackerelRuffian @SpiffySeawolf lol that did not happen. but ya'll should support the news business!
thanksgiving with holmes and the in-laws must be straight up wild
https://t.co/JmbaVg7HBB
As FB works on Instagram for Kids, it wouldn't be surprising to see the company spin this now revealed research to suggest that the reason why it has to make a children-specific app is because the main app is toxic.
https://t.co/eeCBDQpUHK
@RMac18 this is what you mean right https://t.co/bHaGYtNRoU

is that the-
the ed sheeran x nfl collab merch? yeah it is https://t.co/Fsw9Wh4P0U

@CraigSilverman And thus they talk to us. And you. And @RMac18. And... It really is that simple.
I think that this is 100% on - I am not going to get a new iPhone until my current one breaks, and even then won’t buy the fanciest one https://t.co/fkPc2Ok5Rc
great news I got a chair instead of a pew in the courtroom so you aren’t going to get as many tweets about how my back hurts
@CaseyNewton Here I thought you were just affecting a Long Island accent.
So if I'm following correctly, VCs spent hundreds of millions of dollars to build a platform to listen to themselves talk. Average users didn't want to listen for long, and now it's became a phantom ship propelled only by waning inertia and its vast reams of cash https://t.co/RClXDrnQYa
@CaseyNewton that's the mint flavored app, right?
a rap star has tweeted at Boris Johnson, Chris Whitty and Laura Kuennsberg. i guess you could call it a MINAJ A TROIS
Norm MacDonald was one of the funniest people who ever lived.
Even, especially, the dumb dad jokes like this one. Just an absolute master at what he did. https://t.co/XwwveBeDYh

Fox Corp. HR chief Kevin Lord just sent out a memo to staff saying that “90% of full-time employees reported they are fully vaccinated” after the company mandated everyone report their vaccination status.
Lord says they will soon introduce daily COVID testing for unvaccinated.
No one could tell a joke like this man...the cadence of it was half of what made it funny https://t.co/BNPSZHfiBw
Honored AN UGLY TRUTH is on the SABEW Shortlist for 2021 Best in Business Book Awards cc: @sheeraf https://t.co/Er0Uy2CyR3
just realized I want an ipad mini so that i can do crosswords more efficiently and oh hell i *am* old now
Norm MacDonald was a true GOAT. As a comic, as a talk show guest. A true original. He tweeted this to me as my dad was dying from cancer in 2014, “I’m just an idiot, Laurie but I found when I embraced the pain as tightly as I could it became love. I pray for you.” RIP Norm. 🇨🇦
norm macdonald had a throwaway one-liner on weekend update that i still think about once a day
"at number one on the billboard charts this week ... better than ezra ..."
[stares straight at camera]
"at number two ... EZRA"
Norm Macdonald has passed away. He was one of the best comics ever. After we talked in 2011 I couldn't believe what an amazing talk it was. I still can't. One of the best episodes. Here it is. RIP https://t.co/344Ph5pFjn
RIP Norm Macdonald. A wonderful, hilarious soul leaving this world too soon. ❤️
these new facebook stories in the WSJ this week are fuckin grim even for facebook https://t.co/o1hPx8anKs
People hate AOC for being beautiful and popular. They really do. A lot of folks working out their high school angst and it's so deep. https://t.co/K6y28JhwOV
a cheesy-fiesta-potato-a-day
taco bell
just think about it https://t.co/a0OaUqMIRk
1. "The top 10 percent of drinkers account for well over half of the alcohol consumed in any given year"
https://t.co/V4d4nW4RMy
2. "Self-control problems cause 31 percent of social media use."
https://t.co/H8LqZ5u7pK
@samidh @CaseyNewton turns out SKYNET was a CMS before it went sentient https://t.co/L74TsZ74an

We all tell little white lies about ourselves https://t.co/vweznBKAJI

I'm told my name is probably on the list of special fancy people whose content moderation issues get escalated to Facebook's XCheck teams. That didn't stop them from taking down the historically significant penis picture I posted, though. https://t.co/xtI7tJyvDl
@kevintripp @CaseyNewton I think it has lost its thing status. It is post-thing.
I'd also love to see the results of an election where there's no question on the ballot, you can just pick YES or NO. They should run one to calibrate these recalls.
@CaseyNewton Using a celebrity's name uncensored in a tweet is risky business so I'm glad for the Twitter measures but I will continue with the best anti-harassment measure, asterisks
The coming world of required researcher access to social media platform data? https://t.co/ZGYnK03JVc https://t.co/Az4xbVvwJc

@pierce David, don’t tell her anything about your balls. She can’t be trusted
Instead of waiting for @NewYorker leadership to (maybe never) break down its diversity stats, archive editor @erinoverbey grabbed 96 years' worth of back issues and did it herself.
https://t.co/g5RaqQzewk
One of the hardest times I’ve ever laughed was during the Bob Saget Roast as @normmacdonald ate it on purpose, gleefully digging in on a bit that the live audience wasn’t buying. Meanwhile, the other comics and myself were in tears and in awe of one of the funniest humans ever.
I realize it's hard to recreate a discussion in a meeting verbatim, but does this really sound believable to anyone? https://t.co/pTulNcB5YS

Voted no on the recall in a beautiful little garage in the Castro this morning. The volunteers were lovely and helpful and gave me a sticker. Democracy is lovely and we need more of it 🇺🇸
Remember, today’s recall election answers the fundamentally democratic question of whether California’s “unpopular governor” should be replaced by a MORE unpopular candidate who gets fewer votes.
@CaseyNewton Speculating that we'll see eventually a pivot to "We've heard from users that smaller is better when it comes to building meaningful communities. So we're capping rooms moving ahead at 10 people so you can really dig in and get to know others you have something in common with."
Wrote about the thing that most worries me from the WSJ’s Facebook/Instagram investigations: we never would have known about these findings if not for some truly brave employees and talented reporters.
The EU has a better idea about all this:
https://t.co/ihWuhUHfTQ https://t.co/fipQb2hUTx

@xmxgxn @CaseyNewton I know I know! Let's call them... https://t.co/1tCN9vvLSa

I went on a food tour in and around Oracle Park. It did not disappoint. Here is everything to eat and drink when you go to a SF Giants game: https://t.co/WQLGaxavsN
Achievement unlocked: fell right over on my bike waiting at an intersection because I couldn’t clip out in time when I lost my balance.
As I do in all things, I flopped onto the pavement with grace and dignity, sustaining only minor injuries.
(Apple Watch S5 didn’t detect it)
Norm MacDonald's final Letterman appearance when he got choked up over his genuine love for Dave is such a a great moment and shows what a big heart he had. https://t.co/iGXIovX9Om
Innovating and sustaining innovation are two totally different things! https://t.co/dJ2NUi2Odt
@CaseyNewton keep her name out ur mouth
your name "casey" talking about the queen
🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
@CaseyNewton TickTack just got Series A funding, per sources
@kwameopam @CaseyNewton i would say so, the roguelike genre has become more mainstream, and bigger titles like returnal and deathloop have run with it from a storytelling perspective. even fortnite is a timeloop game -- there's a whole run of batman comics about it (not a joke)
@CaseyNewton @kwameopam game developers have always tried to find ways to make dying repeatedly part of the narrative
@CaseyNewton okay but what were the takeaways from the broke men career fair?
"App Annie" and "securities fraud" are the last two things I ever expected to read in the same sentence 😆
https://t.co/VUQ2JojlrW
@CaseyNewton cant wait to read about this in the platformer
I'm looking forward to the definitive piece on why time-loop games and movies got to be so popular during the pandemic.
@CaseyNewton It happens. Did the Producer whisper in your ear
@CaseyNewton I didn’t even quit I just deleted the app. Can’t be bothered https://t.co/XqBwn0z0wU

@CaseyNewton It's basically dead at this point for so many folks
@CaseyNewton addictive, but rarely lasts for more than 60 seconds https://t.co/fbZbRQB7x1

VERY cute.
When you "heart" this @tim_cook tweet, the hollow heart icon briefly turns into an @Apple logo before it turns into a red heart.
cc @bleedsixcolors @GlennF @LanceUlanoff @CaseyNewton @mims https://t.co/iFDTVBXU18 https://t.co/sKhzQaLGSI

@A_Webster @CaseyNewton So is it that games in particular are becoming more ambitious when it comes to incorporating death into narrative?
@kwameopam easy answer feels like people wanting to turn the reality of ‘every day is the same’ into art, but also seems like people realized that after ‘edge of tomorrow’ we realized there is a LOT of juice in the ‘groundhog day’ formula
@CaseyNewton they coulda had a $4 billion acquisition; instead, they had a chatroom that tedious VC's and cryptobros used for 3 months.
i told y’all it was the Twitter graph https://t.co/QYETDM96tj
Facebook whistleblowers share their findings, by @CaseyNewton https://t.co/MjtaIjSlUg
@CaseyNewton I’ll always make sure you know when I’m harassing you, Casey! ❤️😂
@CaseyNewton Is there a Twitter XCheck but for harassment?
I don't know if there was ever a comic who could make *other* comics laugh the way Norm Macdonald could. One of the greatest practitioners of the shaggy dog story who ever lived. RIP.
https://t.co/thM6pLclw2
@ross_meyerson @rjbennett @quakerheel @CaseyNewton They're solid people.
@CaseyNewton Facebook-> Pong
Twitter-> Atari 1600
Instagram-> Atari 2600
Snapchat-> Intellivision
Clubhouse-> Colecovision
@CaseyNewton Sometimes, I forget Clubhouse is still a thing. It's the Colecovision of social media. My friend had a Colecovision and it was fun because it was rare are irrelevant.
@CaseyNewton This is probably a good nudge to delete my account on there haha
@drewpusateri my spicy yet predictable take: let me read this research
@A_Webster my editor has refused to let me write about it
@JAG_____ “you’re a meme now” — the producer while hanging up on me just
RT @georgia_wells: “WE MAKE BODY IMAGE ISSUES WORSE FOR 1 IN 3 TEEN GIRLS.” That’s a document that Facebook employees shared internally, su…
RT @DEADLINE: BREAKING: Norm MacDonald has died "after a long and private battle with cancer"
The influential comedian and former 'SNL' W…
@CaseyNewton You're fine. Look, it's CNBC. No one watching knows the difference between "Tik Tok" and "TickTack," anyway.
Besides, you got the "Tik" right, no matter how you spell it. Cut yourself some slack, huh?
@CaseyNewton I just saw a TikTok with that clip. #trending
@samidh @sheeraf @ceciliakang @rotmanschool @crowdtangle No one on our team was entirely sure if you *had* actually survived or not :)
One more I wanna share because I think it was really underrated in his SNL run: Impersonating Larry King and just repeating verbatim bits from his USA Today column https://t.co/R7QWDvKBhu

@CaseyNewton You mean the hype over a conference call app was just that?
@CaseyNewton Can you pass it off as a sudden, hard Midwestern accent? 😬
@CaseyNewton You just got 78 on the Buzzfeed guess your age quiz.
@CaseyNewton This just reminded me to go delete my account
@etbrooking @CaseyNewton That's an insane valuation 🤦🏻♂️ I want to hear the Twitter backroom conversations where they asked, "can't we, uh, just build this into Twitter?"
@chrismessina @CaseyNewton thank you for explaining, chris messina
en route to my honeymoon and can't sleep on the flight, so i give you
💕 Vows 💕
- propose() to your sweetheart or fav anon
- they can accept() if they love you back
- now you're 'married' and you both get an nft to commemorate it
- not working out? annul() to burn the nfts
@CaseyNewton I think their biggest mistake is not saving recordings. There are tons of past rooms I would want to listen to that they just let vanish.
@KatzOnEarth @CaseyNewton Please, Jonathan, don't hurt him.
@CaseyNewton I did the exact same thing in class today. Showed no mercy by my class of 18 year olds.
Couldn't agree more here:
Set aside the particulars, though, and you’re confronted with what may be an even more disturbing aspect about this report: it likely never would have come to light had it not been for some brave whistleblowers and the talented reporters at the Journal. https://t.co/s7af7o3zB2
@CaseyNewton Maybe they are all planning a surprise for you?
@CaseyNewton @CaseyNewton this is taking a life of its own
https://t.co/OSCiAMag2I
@CaseyNewton I gave it 2 months, then finally just deleted the app this week. Prob had too high of hopes & did find a few interesting sessions early on, but now it's mostly self-styled gurus stating the obvious and saying "did I offer value?" I was able to ask one question in all that time.
@CaseyNewton I only joined to save my screen name in case it became a thing and don’t think I ever logged in again.
@CaseyNewton @verge Almost seems like she's really just getting a bit testy with the mods. You know. Seeing how far she can go before they sack her
@CaseyNewton They should do an onlyfans thing and go live with sex workers. Big if it works.
@CaseyNewton Casey how come you never come to my antisemitic bitcoin seminars?
@CaseyNewton I spent two hours on Clubhouse and never went back.
The opportunity that we have is only superseded by the responsibility we feel. We hope we can live up to it over the years to come. So lucky to turn a wild idea into reality with the best team, community and investors. Exciting progress on our 2-step plan:
https://t.co/9esrmZKm79
@CaseyNewton Now you have to pretend to have some weird regional accent for the rest of your life, else risk being called a boomer.
@CaseyNewton Is this how you know you hit the big time? On air blooper?
@CaseyNewton speakers have run out of things to talk about, and listeners have demanding schedules. they should limit every user to one speaker hour per week, and provide an inbox of recorded talks
Damn, I feel bad for Clubhouse :(
They popularized an awesome feature and now everyone just copied them and added the clubhouse feature to their products. Which was super obvious from the beginning, but still. https://t.co/MiMsZG0q11
@CaseyNewton just gotta pronounce all your 'ock's as 'ack's from now on and claim it's a regional accent or something
Tldr - WhatsApp encrypts its backups and iMessage doesn’t.👇 https://t.co/djThYJLHjz
@CaseyNewton Dear god how are we at this point https://t.co/c5eVTDKD2k

@apn @CaseyNewton Not sure I get the significance of what platform someone uses
@CaseyNewton I haven't been on in months. It's literally the same content, over and over again.
- Grifters
- People complaining about other people
- People who enjoy talking about nothing interviewing other people who enjoy talking about nothing
Such a boring place.
@CaseyNewton Just say you watch too much Friends. https://t.co/1deTKxOHa5

@CaseyNewton Yeah, censorship is great. I have to go into the analytics tab and look, or I miss 10–20% of my replies.
@CaseyNewton Those long hours playing(testing) video games have a price friend
@CaseyNewton It’s actually really helpful nowadays!! The filters hide people asking me things about where I work that I have no input on. 🙃
@CaseyNewton I’m telling ya, “invite only onboarding” is a red flag 🚩
😜
Everyone says pop culture doesn’t actually matter but sideways destroyed the Merlot market
My conversation with Spotify CEO @eldsjal to celebrate 5 years of ILtB
We cover a wide range of topics:
- innovation in atoms vs bits
- energy+healthcare
- learning new fields
- future of music and audio
- pros and cons of founder led businesses
Enjoy!
https://t.co/iWf1L9v7Ni https://t.co/ILGPFfNa0U

if i catch you at the Union Grill not eating this sandwich, we're gonna scrap. https://t.co/d0MOJpnIVb
This goes into the same category as constant surface wiping: Some of it is well-meaning, some of it is legal ass-covering. All of it was understandable in spring and summer 2020, but not now. https://t.co/UGsTlkWb89
Norm Macdonald: “It’s the greatest gig in the world, being alive. You get to eat at Denny’s, wear a hat, whatever you wanna do.”
@dsquareddigest post office final mile discussion, baby!
Does this story on what the culture secretary will say this afternoon become inaccurate if the man in question is no longer culture secretary by the time he's due on stage? Would be a big help if anyone in Downing Street could avoid reshuffling Oliver Dowden until about 7pm. https://t.co/pdeRNim9ps
always impressed when ppl call my work phone, a phone for which even I do not know its number
Clubhouse, which VCs catapulted to an insane $4 billion valuation in less than a year, is now No. 45 in the social media section of the App Store. Sandwiched between Monkey Run and Hily. https://t.co/nF6m5IrRhc

I’ve gone quiet for a bit because my wife gave birth to twins last week! 👶👶
All are doing well and we’re over the moon, but you’ll be largely relieved of my tweeting until October, when I’ll be back with (exhausted) gusto.
It has come to my attention that certain tech figures are now discussing the pitfalls of relying too much on "NI," or "natural intelligence," as in non-artificial, ordinary human intelligence, and I'm going to lose it https://t.co/3Wyxj0qMTH
twitter discourse should be like the White House press pool like we all split up the days and rotate so one person has to pay attention for the day and fills the rest of us in and everyone else loves this life
an archive editor is really just a receipts editor if you think about it......and boy does erin have some receipts
after winding up as a subject on one of these subreddits last week, I am still not fully positive I should even tweet, period, but: this is an important piece on a hideous ideology and corner of the internet https://t.co/K4lMslufOO
chatted with @itsgabrielleu about her (truly incredible, like I gasped several times) new book of essays, YOU GOT ANYTHING STRONGER, which is out today! https://t.co/scCVpV0ZYN
The wallet inspector promised to return our wallet the second they were finished with it https://t.co/hPnBDADLPz

If this turns out to be a submarine procurement contract dispute I think we are all going to have to chill out for a few days
Look if ww3 breaks out I’m going to the pub a $5000 fine isn’t going to stop me sorry Gladys
I’m going to break in. Turn on the power. Plumb in the co2 lines and fit the keg in myself and then sit at the bar and drink the entire damn thing
The Porter $1m legal fee anonymous trust thing really has the smell of a failed state about it hey
Damn it’s crazy how not going out after 9pm suddenly stopped people getting sick at work and not the vaccines that massively reduce the chances of you getting Covid
No the curfew was the only thing stopping cases from rising noooooooooo
Scrawling “TAX THE RICH” in Sharpie on the back of the $10 Costco mesh shorts from 2002 I wear to walk the dog before coffee
The internet has been such a blessing for Judaism. Easy to forget but moments ago there were no Zoom services, open Talmud for all, huge Wikis answering every ritual question or Facebook and WhatsApp groups offering support and teaching Torah 24/7. Easy to miss the magic of this.
Third wedding anniversary today. Lots of signs she was the right one.
First time she met my parents. Vodka toasts. She went to the bathroom.
Mom: "I like her a lot!"
More vodka toasts. She went back to the bathroom.
Mom, serious as a heart attack: "Don't fuck this up."
Ah, another Milley civ-mil news cycle. How I have not missed them
Norm really felt like the last connection to another era of comedy. Hard to put into words. He was a really funny guy
@Bernstein Still looking for examples of these assignments that were mandatory (not as one option among many). Zero and very few appear to be the two possibilities. Asked this guy and he didn’t respond.
Feels like an excuse for empty dudgeon at imaginary academics & easy-position taking.
@Bernstein I’m smart enough not to drop some “who are the other three” bomb.
another win for my longstanding boutique policy opinion that we should give people money until they're not poor https://t.co/ZyJ4s1euO7
This story is brutal overall, but this pair of anecdotes is almost a capsule summary of the danger of online connection and its promise https://t.co/HTnSFfOegD https://t.co/pkVK4KaWZx

“…and tonight, I’m dumping a bottle of Rombauer into it, brother” https://t.co/k1FTHo9pxh
You would have to explain the concept of physical fitness to them. To the extent such a thing existed when they lived, it would have come in the form of rushing up and down tenement stairs, attempting to sell rags.
Joyce Carol Oates... usually she's so on the ball here. Surprised to see her miss on a hot button social issue like this
@NoahShachtman @lisatozzi @RollingStone The Tozzmeister!!!
The trouble with contemptible people is that your contempt is the least likely thing to convince them to be less so
cmon Dante deserves a 1000 year paywall https://t.co/SjhnBsfBBs
The body type of the Apple executive has grown increasingly monkish: beyond taut to the point of deprivation, devoted to something to an insane extent, Brunello Cucinelli slowly dying in a tanning booth
Opened the Apple event livestream, and for a second instinctively assumed I was watching a preroll ad. Went looking for the "skip ads" button to get to the actual video.
Then I remembered the whole event is just a 2-hour preroll ad that people for some reason watch voluntarily
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers... https://t.co/5kd1I2Mo2k
it’s cool how getting a kid to school on time in the morning 20 blocks away in New York is like the most stressful activity humanly possible
@Bernstein Joe please wear them all day. Basketball shorts life is the only life
@Bernstein this endangers anyone paying to see The Joe Pesci Show: Live.
@Bernstein Upper Middle-aged Cardio Addict Wasting Syndrome is unfortunately endemic in high-income individuals across the American West
@Bernstein That whole philosophy is going global - I met a startup CEO in Finland who stood for a 5 hour train ride because “sitting kills”
@AliceFromQueens @TheLincoln It was a boring and pointless observation
@samhaselby We create the problem, we define the problem on our own terms by funding certain solutions
You might gently point out that the Apple Watch Series 7 could calculate with unprecedented accuracy how many steps they'd taken and at what elevation. And then you'd add that this capability had the potential to help them intelligently manage and upgrade their rag sales.
Do you ever imagine what your great-great-grandparents would say if they could see an Apple Watch Series 7, which was announced today by Apple?
It’s hard to know — they probably died a long time ago. But they’d most likely be astounded.
https://t.co/PXMs4HD7fO
@tolstoybb this comment, like all horny comments in my mentions, has been reported
@johnsemley3000 Look, John, we’re both upset. Let’s just try not to say anything we’ll come to regret.
Oh, no. Goat Boy, some other stuff. A loss for our culture. https://t.co/SRmbIwwdqn
@Bernstein Does the fact that I like this method of explaining new technology mean that I am old?
interesting thread on journalism and media in general https://t.co/0bTXp7NsTP
🚨🚨 JOB ALERT KLAXON 🚨🚨
Bloomberg reports: Deutsche Bank is under pressure from ECB to identify a new chairman.
Apply at ItsAlwaysDeutsche@jeuasommenulle.com
Candidates will be assessed based on: ESG ranking, failure to understand CCR and capacity to move money in Latvia.
Big week for @chafkin, one of the great Maxes of @Business and @BW. What a cover https://t.co/xe6M6pd1IF https://t.co/6PFaU9zaxU

“Even at the end, we had an agreement with the Talibs for [them] not to enter Kabul,” Zalmay Khalilzad, who leads Biden administration talks with the Taliban, tells me in his first interview since the fall of Kabul to the Islamist group. @FT
https://t.co/B40gP4Ghk5
Goldman Sachs & Co. LLC is serving as financial advisor to Goldman Sachs.
Good decision
https://t.co/1aqRt672aY
@MylesUdland personally, I'm waiting for a Vice Chairman, Editorial role
Today, it’s announced that another Abu Dhabi company, Man City has signed a sponsorship deal with WeWork, which is now controlled by SoftBank
https://t.co/HoPwlYG3vJ
RT @KatrinaManson: “Even at the end, we had an agreement with the Talibs for [them] not to enter Kabul,” Zalmay Khalilzad, who leads Biden…
The UK government channels its inner SoftBank
Today's DD newsletter kicks off with a look at Masayoshi Sunak
https://t.co/6pCer7sd6v
“The bigger lesson was this was a company which hid behind complexity."
Tips from @FD on looking for the next Wirecard.
https://t.co/h4BrVp18SP
RT @sindap: the American Dream: flame out as a politician, raise a PE fund and get your kid a job there https://t.co/2LPwIzMZTT

The knives are out for ESG
Following @sosofancy's essay, Aswath Damodaran rightfully calls BS on the ESG Gravy Train
I think impact / sustainable investing can still make a difference, but mostly on the primary side / private markets
The indices are total dog shit https://t.co/x7qRe7Abg2
if anyone wants to WhatsApp me some absolutely unhinged predictions for the reshuffle I would be very happy, and indeed honoured, to very seriously screengrab them and post them here with the caption "a source gets in touch:"
Gillick principle wouldn't be used for sexual health, that's under the Fraser guidelines.
https://t.co/gQD72ns6rI https://t.co/jLNOl5rMu5

@extinctsymbol Spoiler alert: it’s an opinion piece by an external academic, and the very next line is: “Biodiversity loss, set to be one of the largest environmental crises of all times, will collapse economies and societies.”
Gavin Williamson has moved to a new role studying Key Stage 1
“but do you consider a squirrel to be a filthy animal?”
“no... https://t.co/hzlVVCZ4BG
think I’m about to sell quite a lot of FT subscriptions https://t.co/sJNnILvkT2

“Gavin Williamson to Northern Ireland” https://t.co/jxoBIHStOO
Dominic Raab frantically preparing for the reshuffle https://t.co/jaEn0GI8eH

Dominic Raab has just been demoted to deputy prime minister. Only in the UK
At this stage, quite frankly, one phone call wouldn’t make any difference
started watching the BBC's 9/11 doc. George W. Bush claims that the reason he stayed reading with schoolkids - *after being told America was under attack* - was that he didn't want people to panic. absolute nonsense. an atrocious president, in over his head.
good column by Danny Finkelstein
https://t.co/KpWq8SK8Ss https://t.co/w4pAaw2xpm

update https://t.co/GRUfUxSOiP https://t.co/1UvtqwJKJ3

We’d have to be talking about one charming ********** squirrel
(Tarantino and Beatrix Potter plots are about as crazy as each other)
@IanDunt In fairness, he did understand/ complain that this was going to happen (in 2018), but I guess he is trying to find a way out of it https://t.co/VCIyUOD7t4
@henrymance Updated figure, with last nights election results. https://t.co/c2JD1QpyH7

If you thought that Silicon Valley by and large wanted to get rid of Gavin Newsom, you are spending way too much time on this dear website.
Tax the rich? Absolutely. But remember, taxes don't pay for spending. The key is to expand the productive capacity of the economy, so we can deliver a wider range of services -- education, housing, healthcare, green infrastructure and so forth -- in a manner that doesn't result i
@bigblackjacobin i'd probably try to get a picture with rihanna but you do you
@AsteadWesley Can’t wait for you to write their vows column
he* understood the assignment
*jonathan franzen in strong motion where he thanks william cronon in the acknowledgements and draws upon "changes in the land: indians, colonists and the ecology of new england" in a discussion of the boston area's environmental history
Gutted. Was supposed to be attending a wedding in Trinidad, but it’s just been cancelled. Family won’t say why.
when the office’s Bloomberg TV starts showing the morning news from Hong Kong….it’s time to go home
this is by far the best bit on this site, everyone gets so mad but doesn't really know why and can't quite articulate it, 10/10 https://t.co/9uaupPyuNk
gavin has to go back to the french laundry to celebrate his win
“Caroline Polachek” sounds like a New Yorker 20 under 40 who, after the list is published, just teaches at Columbia and writes a novel every 9 years, not someone touring with Dua Lipa
@chrisecrowley Did someone say hot guy literature https://t.co/YHKPrXYtJ9

Hopefully (not holding my breath) all the psycho runaway inflation calls will die down so we can have the brutal fight we need — whether inflation is likely to run at more like a 2% or a 3% pace.
“a spokesman for Gove declined to comment” https://t.co/XRcTfZBC5t

@quantian1 They have their own internal propaganda force to keep people motivated. One of our friends had a pamphlet on his kitchen counter a few years ago that said something to the effect of “people outside the organization will comment on us but they don’t know the truth of our journey.”
Inflation will continue to confound the consensus. There are too many variables that obscure real trends right now, and there's no one to give guidance to the Street. https://t.co/NnawUZUwNw

@PickardJE @ajb_powell don't change it - it's just perfect - makes me think - real art
Acquaintance: Been a long time, how’s things?
Me: Terrible. I hate everything and I’m at my wit’s end.
Acquaintance: Buddy, I wasn’t really asking.
Me: Oh, then things are fine
Acquaintance: Great to hear, let’s get a pint soon
Next time somebody asks you what "transitory" means, show them these data 😉
Thousands* of people are asking 'what is Labour thinking by not setting forward their position on social care?' I explain what's behind the shift in their approach on policy announcements here: https://t.co/kxinn5Gg3n
@ajb_powell yeah, starting to think this issue overblown, in U.S. at least
@AbiWilks @yngvlgrn I have gone completely insane and would pick "five days in" over "five days at home" in a heartbeat
@hedgefundsuit tbh i appreciate how absolutely blind with incandescent rage she makes all the dudebros
@eriz35 apparently politicians get free invites (a little bit of in-kind lobbying never hurt), so the ROI might be infinite too
Facebook is really just replaying the RJ Reynolds 70's hits at this point. "Sure, our product results in materially worse health outcomes for power users, but have you considered that, uh, it's probably their personality instead?" https://t.co/5p1eb8IRIz
@jeuasommenulle It is very good because it is proof that you don’t have the brain of a 11 year old boy.
CPI a bit soft.
Fortunately my alternative CPI measure which puts more emphasis on things that mean a lot to me like burritos shows the truth of what's really happening.
My favorite chart in a while
I call it: good luck at macro https://t.co/3y5bcEsOXs

This will be good. @FTAlphaville's crack team of @izakaminska, @senoj_erialc and @ajb_powell talking to @adam_tooze about how Covid shook the world economy https://t.co/wxGwHdStmu
BREAKING: Evergrande $3333 Reaches Goldman Sachs Price Target https://t.co/Edu9Zm7354

@helenbarrett a small friendly community detached from reality that is slowly degrading into the sea. if it was a novel, you'd say the metaphor was too obvious.
Gas prices are so high that there are rumours of former journalists and city boys joining apprenticeship schemes https://t.co/LlRvYtgIDe

GS: rising wages not that big a threat to profit margins https://t.co/cciEWm2QPy

@stephenkb it is argued with a straight face because a very large segment of the commentariat has simply fully internalised the utility function of the conservative party as being that of the nation
Heard's @jonsindreu has got a deal for you! SPACS. No, really. https://t.co/q0uleM3ulP @WSJheard
@hassankhan This is going to sound weird AF, but a direct subsidy for capital investment in domestic manufacturing would really help. The fact is that a lot of tech relies on spillover from manufacturing to make things and the ecosystem that supports this is slowly dying.
Not sure how much this has to do with taxation on assets and inheritance. Italian public debt has continued to rise while household debt has remained low. Also tax collected from inheritance in Italy is very low compared to OECD average. https://t.co/6mSI9fpb5U

The eco argument for #HS2 in just 2+ mins:
👉We need to decarbonise. Transport the worst sector
👉 That means travel less, shift rest to low-CO2 means
👉 But that means 50+% more rail capacity needed
👉 Which the rail industry says #HS2 delivers most cheaply, least destructively. https://t.co/Zzm40VQi9R
@hassankhan @TaupeAvenger in the uk we've done full cost accounting for capital investment. think it starts this year
@Hodgebristol have to book day 2 before you travel and show proof at aiport as well as passenger locator doc.
@GrainSurgeon but then no one will think im funny or clever
RT @Michael_Calia: Facebook knows Instagram is bad for teenagers. Here are some of Facebook's own words, via WSJ:
"We make body image is…
Just in case you were confused about any of this. It's not hypocritical to say rich people should pay more tax while being surrounded by rich people at a rich people event. And so what if it is? doesn't make it wrong.
@jon_trickett "I didn't research anything about HS2 before forming my opinions."
Because if you had you'd have learnt it's not about the timesaving between London and Birmingham it's about increasing network capacity through service segregation.
Anyone flown back to the uk recently from Germany ? Do I need to book this day 2 test thing or can I just book a normal PCR ? Feels like such a scam from the gov.
@dbkahn the one that makes machines that makes computer chips. like... ASMR ?
this will always be the week i fell in love with j*ck h*rlow <3
Great interview on all things Wirecard with @FD https://t.co/OdTPZVuWI0
this is bonkers: the son of Lord Michael Farmer, the commodities hedge fund boss known as “Mr Copper”, is trying to relaunch Parler.
@MsHannahMurphy interviews George Farmer, who is also married to US right-wing media personality Candace Owens https://t.co/XdaBpeqeCf
lol you can tell some of the tweets, headlines, and takes were prescheduled for something closer than “wasserman asleep before Fallon” margins
That's how rich kids describe themselves is it?
After a period as a self-described “independent roving investor” in the US. https://t.co/MDphH7sMde
"Ok - seems strange, how can lending be a security?" ranks pretty high on my "favorite all-time CEO tweets" list.
5 days later he floats a bond.
We live in a scripted comedy.
$COIN https://t.co/O0OxdbxwOR https://t.co/4KvCLX4jJe

And Italian household debt is lower than other large European countries, both northern and southern: https://t.co/WHwMODnikq

Following on from previous tweet, even though the Italian economy has not grown in two decades Italian households, perhaps paradoxically, remain among the wealthiest in Europe. Household net worth (as % of disposable income) in Italy is higher than Germany, France, UK, Norway. https://t.co/ZmHFje1OtD

The carousel of directors at Gupta's "Friends of Sanjeev" network continues to turn.
Kashif Khan, previously owner of Inventia Trading, has now joined UBG Commodities as director.
Piece from April with @cynthiao & @Michael_Pooler on the related party web https://t.co/HI0vpEAzoR https://t.co/M01OuCNQsI

@BondHack actually these risk factors are great, it's basically like a retread of that twitter thread in legalese https://t.co/fwmzbuBCuF

@BondHack dunno if "uncertainty" is what I'd call it. Possibly the wrong kind of certainty https://t.co/wKsYfbfjdn

Watching Evergrande sinking beneath the waves while making barely a ripple is a reminder that Old School Prognostication Macro is a bloody hard game - you have to get the call right, get the timing right AND call the market reaction right - you're just compounding uncertainties.
so it seems like there was a lowkey coup after jan 6? milley pruning trump's powers, twitter and facebook denying his ability to broadcast...now maybe it was a low key *counter-coup* and similar stuff (at least with the military) happend with nixon, but still, quite something
Give the victory speech while walking through the French Laundry kitchen a la Goodfellas https://t.co/2SMIBeNdnF
@LPDonovan @jonathanchait *david shor voice* democratic donors are to the left on economics and social issues from democratic voters
Then why are you talking about it… https://t.co/Um6gREqeob
@MattZeitlin it’s “physiognomy” when it’s the face matt
if you dont like my writing you should know that i am also paid for it
One funny thing about the Met is that it’s by far the most accessible New York City cultural institution for New Yorkers (it’s virtually free) while also having the most advanced rep for snootiness
big way to sound smart these days? ruefully and vaguely reference supply chains in every day conversation
pretty clear the bruenigs are doing a long game for mass induction, matt makes the relentlessly logical args/trolls, liz posts the food, classic belt and suspenders strategy
"we need to electrify everything!"
"ok let's do stoves, why are you burning gas inside your own home?"
"oh hell no absolutely not"
Reminds me of how Robert Rubin of all people opposed welfare reform, there is a kind of very New York City liberalism where there are very rich people who, in their own way, provide for the poor without really threatening their own status
AOC didn't pay $35,000 to attend the Met gala because she knows that place only has a suggested donation for admissions and you can pay a dollar if you want https://t.co/YtA2rOdzG3

maybe the reason so many people in upstate new york believed in ghosts and had seances and stuff is because their drafty, poorly insulated homes were always making so much damn noise
@gabrielwinant @jamiekeiles ravelstein has nothing on this
only murders in the building is a real manhattan murder mystery…folks! 🥁
Every political reporter’s favorite quote every four years is of course involved in the bizarre South Carolina lawyer murders story https://t.co/OBHlG8m7Bt https://t.co/JzGCzHtkcw

@namarasmith visionary literature is back, did dh lawrence always know what he was saying? no
The problem with targeting Azealia is that she's smart, self-aware, and graphomanic https://t.co/RGwnBEVbWi
our office door is so creaky that one of my wife's coworkers, who i had never seen or spoken to, when we met IRL, already knew me as the "creaky door opener'; also in the summer the door just straight up does not close https://t.co/tAND8ouj8D
whenever i see a guy in his mid 30s to early 40s in my neighborhood with a ton of tattoos and a young child, i always wonder, which dj turned creative director are you?
IG has its own issues, but if spotlighting the photogenic life of the rich, famous and beautiful makes one a public health threat, then lots of traditional media... https://t.co/8Xhhbf8KGa
I hope Napa votes for him jeez he’s sacrificed enough for that county’s hospitality industry https://t.co/rBrJbvciLC
The only celebrity sighting that has ever mattered is me seeing Eric Bogosian at the Met last summer.
I haven’t sat an an adjustable desk in so long I can’t even figure out how to set it, I’m sitting here typing like a baby in a high chair!!
@HHH_Report well a lot of that was trump being lazy, biden was able to do it despite footdragging and whining
say what you will about donald trump but before he came around the entire timeline would be taken over by apple events
with books, i've whined and shamlessly begged and sucked up enough on here to be sent galleys, doesn't seem to be happening with dune, maybe they know they have me in the bag
Someone take one for the team and film the Licorice Pizza trailer on your phone
@KenGoodrich i rent so i'm not about to get an expensive new stove but for new housing, no gas stove mandates make sense
@August_Julii do you think the portion of electricity coming from renewable or non-carbon sources will go down or up in the next ten years
@August_Julii the share of electricity produced by renewables is on a relentless march upwards, by this logic switching to electric cars is pointless
@mattyglesias this is even weirder, hawley actually was against endless wars https://t.co/5b3RsqZxiF
19th century novels love talking about countenance, are they just saying emotions are expressed in the face (yes, duh) or doing low key phrenology
our greatest minds are at work on the question of politics and culture, how do they go together? one day they'll figure it out
@grape_crush yes, amazon has very high employee turnover, so clearly workers are cognizant of when the tradeoff no longer becomes worth it
good blog re: amazon, wages, and productivity https://t.co/CYnIJaFb7p
Glenn Greenwald, Bossip author https://t.co/IThryluH6A

Larry Ellison is a possible witness in the Bibi Netanyahu corruption trial.
Larry Ellison just reportedly offered Bibi Netanyahu a seat on the board at Oracle.
https://t.co/cYzvVIgM4h
BREAKING: Norm MacDonald has died "after a long and private battle with cancer"
The influential comedian and former 'SNL' Weekend Update anchor was 61 https://t.co/wSbwGQ8Syp
It always amazes me the extent to which people are willing to lie about things that are so easy to disprove with a screenshot. https://t.co/9MeRSSz8nX

the cancel culture moral panic guys are just straight-up saying "cancelling is good when we do it" now https://t.co/dzRZEzcVpr
lemme be ur knight in shining armor bby https://t.co/h6a0WQJjym

This is the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen https://t.co/dnAdlaZ7Ue
Michael the guy you "befriended" yesterday DM'd me. He tested positive for COVID this morning and keeps trying to call you to tell you to get tested since you were a close contact but you just keep begging for his video https://t.co/VutzSNlLzG https://t.co/4CNHZRW5h0

Some quick facts on Canva's $200M raise at a $40B valuation:
-- valuation doubled in 5 months.
-- 60M monthly users; 500K+ paying teams
--$1B annualized rev projected for Dec 2021 and doubling
--120 designs created per sec
--profitable!
https://t.co/0RF5lxTJ31 tip @techmeme
@ggreenwald @atrupar @SamSacks Thanks for unblocking me Glenn :)
We have all seen the evidence that even milder covid-19 can make you lose 20% of you kidney function etc. But most of these problems are on the inside. Hidden.
I wonder if COVID-19 made 20% of your nose fall off, people would take it more seriously. 20% of an arm/leg?
The megadonor took a lot of steps to keep their transaction anonymous. However, @MeganSquire0 and I identified other donors with ties to various wings of the extreme rightwing, including someone who had donated recently to the National Alliance. https://t.co/1qJEZ4LiLG https://t.co/AhyYMejXiM

The far right has been spreading disinformation about Mackey's case since his arrest. In January, Tucker Carlson called Mackey a "conservative journalist" in a segment claiming he was arrested because he made fun of Democrats. (Mackey isn't a journalist.) https://t.co/1qJEZ4LiLG https://t.co/uSmmyn2xsT

Tucker Carlson, Jack Posobiec, Mike Cernovich & other far-right pundits rushed to Douglass Mackey's ("Ricky Vaughn") defense after his arrest in January. Andrew Anglin implored readers to donate. Then, in March, someone gave Mackey nearly $60K in Bitcoin. https://t.co/1qJEZ4LiLG
@ryanlcooper that’s crazy who would’ve thought. i thought they hated cancel culture when they were telling me they wanna murder me all these years
Facebook knows Instagram is toxic for teen girls, company documents show https://t.co/ZXz5dVeffL
This is absolutely damning and brutal. It has the receipts to what you already knew: Facebook doesn’t care that it’s hurting people, it knows it hurts people, and it’s lying to us about it. https://t.co/qiBEUjZSTh https://t.co/CoqGyoFdHC

It's great that vaccine efficacy is high against severe COVID & death.
But ignoring symptomatic infection is not okay. It misleads people into thinking they're safe from #LongCovid, which they're not. Vaccine efficacy against symptomatic disease wanes & we need to plan for this. https://t.co/Y7U76WP2ab
For MRIs, you can’t wear metal & will be asked to switch out of most N95s to a mask that may be less protective w/o metal parts. Here are great options that will keep you protected that are fine to wear during MRIs, which are often given in stuffy rooms w bad air filtration. https://t.co/u9iAix2uXK
Anyone with a post-vaccination infection and those exposed / immunocompromised
Rather than use the power of a centralized distribution center (@HHSGov) we are now adding in 50 more layers of bureaucracy (every state's health system)
4/
If they are distributed to each participating hospital no one will provide the therapeutic. It is too costly to set up an infusion center if you only have 10 doses to give out weekly.
Who is harmed?
3/
The nightmare of #LongCovid knows no bounds
https://t.co/phDMjhHQso
Except they missed out all the ones who weren't noticeable.
And nearly all of the females.
And nearly all of those in Black, Asian and other ethnic minorities.
And nearly all of those in their teens right through to older age/
In the 1940s, a couple of white men did similar.
Er, not with actual bullets and a barn door.
They picked some autistic people who happened to be e.g. white, male, young, behaving really noticeably differently...and drew the target round them. "Hey, look, this is autism! I won!"
“Since most of our community is vaccinated, the majority of the positive cases are among vaccinated individuals as expected.”
Everyone is getting Covid 🌈 https://t.co/IAibK5TqJb
A new @MayoClinic study highlights remote monitoring for patients with #COVID19 and provides more
evidence for permanent expansion of remote monitoring for acute conditions. @DrTufiaHaddad https://t.co/qpqM08fI1N
the fact that only a modest investment in enhanced unemployment benefits and 3 small direct stimulus payments were able to lift many out of poverty is more proof of the need and impact of a universal basic income https://t.co/ZgIuGIyEEY
Celebrity deaths don't usually hit me but this one hurts. Norm was one or the best joke tellers to ever wield a microphone. https://t.co/C7pZ3j8YW3
Is this actually major or is it one of those things where Australia is just way too excited to be Involved https://t.co/bIStyjnDNW
it has been a pleasure to run the home office, he said https://t.co/PAq9BzYsAa
Another reason why u should only stan Jesus Christ our saviour
Flirting is exercise and good for the soul and the spirit. Invigorating. Who doesn't love a frisson, a back and forth, an exchange taut with possibility, a possibility that is the pleasure itself, the satisfaction itself
Was it worth it Mario ????? Was it ???? https://t.co/4cbSVxbjS4

I had sardine and caper pasta for dinner, so, everyone stay back
in yet more #GBBO news, the lovely @scottygb and I are back doing some bake off live-blogging for the @guardian from next tuesday!
Tell me I don’t need the llama plate https://t.co/s2pzIgYYKQ

Happy birthday to the don🥳🎉 https://t.co/Sge1mUpveS

Hey I wrote about dating whilst being disabled and mentally ill! https://t.co/Gw2b8PrfLf
POV: some mfer from accounts payable is about to absolutely smash piano man https://t.co/pePbpETU9B

here's me in my childhood bedroom https://t.co/S4611oaReC
@HarbourSeal @hansmollman moll is allowed a little tweet banditry, as a treat
Because I am what? A Sickening Extra Special Guest Judge Bish!
When RuPaul asked me on the @dragraceukbbc panel I felt gorgeous, I felt perfect, I felt like Linda Evangelista, like a model
If your question is U K Hun did you feel ready?
I didnt’t have to get ready I stay ready💋 https://t.co/xyDo8Ps9S3

.@HornimanWalrus at the Met Gala. https://t.co/SK261YVmYR

It's stories like 'Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Gigantic Vaccine Balls Derail His Wedding' that make me really miss running a pub quiz.
I have long said this. This is my friend President Dalton having lunch with me. https://t.co/zpZDm7s9VE https://t.co/J2E7a82MEF

Pictured: Nicki's cousin's friend minutes before his wedding.
(Bibliothèque municipale Ms. 0457, fol. 273v) https://t.co/Xt3DdYm2Ed https://t.co/wZhA9iiZFY

blimey, he's been around forever https://t.co/jtWFuKlqZv
thinking of only ever calling exclusive stories "scoopies", to annoy men
Two years ago I was going through a hard time so my uncle started sending me a “good morning, we love you” text every day. Today was the first day he missed it - he had food poisoning and he’ll be completely fine thank god. Never going to take that text for granted again.
I too love to cancel my license fee over the revelation that a producer once said Brexit was boring during the five years it took to happen. https://t.co/33vFkrnpJ7
I've noticed that people really want working class people to stay poor. if you're working class you're not allowed to progress up the system and get money. you're supposed to be grateful and poor forever. heaven forbid you buy yourself something nice. or dress 'posh'
another day spent desperately googling famous women I admire hoping they didn’t have kids
Some ✨ news ✨: I was so worried that @bex_bambi would like her new flat mate better than me, that I decided it would be best if I fill the position myself, and am therefore moving to London next month.
@KEEMSTAR Mum come pick me up a man born before the internet was even invented is saying I’m too old for him again https://t.co/pFTeZNaYYE

@EwaSR @hansmollman What’s wrong with people? It’s a fucking great question and they are rudderless chumps who shun joy.
@hansmollman Yes. You would be very welcome even if I didn’t have squirrel bench.
@hansmollman Oh god I love this so much. I’m getting a new shed and it’s going to have a squirrel bench.
#HouseOfGames is looking for new question writers from Scotland, where we film the show. If you love the show, love quizzes, and you know the types of questions we ask, then please apply! No experience necessary, we will look after you! Email glasgowroles@remarkable.tv
@hansmollman I will neither accept someone dismissing the enjoyment of bread, nor trivialising your perfectly logical enthusiasm for it. A firm lesson needs to be taught.
@hansmollman Me too! Pun intended, it’s really something to chew on!
Here’s a pic of my two moms on a date night. Aren’t they cute? https://t.co/NvZMyofTur

Hive a good feeling about this one
via https://t.co/qrKWndYwel https://t.co/43s9TDg0UD

BREAKING: New Minister for Embalming says new role is a huge undertaking. #CabinetReshuffle
Had no space in my shopping bag the other day, and had to carry a Fajita kit box under my arm. And I walked past teenagers in my neighbourhood there, and heard them calling me Old El Paso
@hansmollman [Mass outbreak of food poisoning, kitchen fire burns Portcullis House down]
@PhelpsieSarah @hansmollman My uni has sneezy https://t.co/EjF89tletg
@hansmollman i just wanna talk to them https://t.co/nmOluG9VYe

Yeh you losers what’s stopping you being a multi multimillionaire with a netflix distribution deal and a mere $4000 camera? https://t.co/HiiPyvn7KS
Thank you thank you for all those #birthday wishes . I took a self portrait yesterday by accident. Hope Twitter doesn’t chop my head off. Anyway proves I’m still alive. Wait- now I look at it , could be almost anyone…. https://t.co/Bm4izSGWtc

@hansmollman think of everything you could eat off the llama plate
@hansmollman you're about to get tagged in a lot of muay thai promos xx
@neilhumby @hansmollman @Medic_Russell @drphiliplee1 Access to the sea has been blocked due to a large container ship full of Philips
@hansmollman You could wear them as trousers and wrap the top like overalls??
New future wife guy just dropped. https://t.co/ckPeGVIc5g

@hansmollman THANK YOU. it’s for my sister in law so this is precisely what I am trying to communicate!! 🤬
"I don’t disclose my disabilities on my profile. I’m fat and six foot one; I don’t need to stack more odds against me." https://t.co/mYxPOUjqV9
@hansmollman @bencsmoke It's okay it's horny hours and I mentioned bread. My fault
@hansmollman (Maybe they're a recently diagnosed coeliac and bread chat is just too painful and heartbreaking and triggering?)
@hansmollman Focaccia, I reckon, or maybe naan? God, just too many good breads. Can't believe that joyless arse didn't jump on the chance for bread chat.
@hansmollman No, this is a good litmus test, anyone without a favourite type of bread doesn’t deserve you
When you ask such a good question…. It’s the yeast they could do to answer it
When I get to do a little wave thanking someone who has waited to let me go past in my Little Car 🥺 https://t.co/L3IRvnOKzs
@bethwritesstuff It’s an old charity women’s football shirt from a few years ago, and thank u x
RT @Browtweaten: man: humpty dumpty fell off the wall
king: who?
man: the giant egg guy
king: the what
man: we need all your horses and…
Kentish Cobnuts would make such a good Bob Mortimer fake name https://t.co/W1NFYZIGHH

@BeeBabs I didn’t realise how much I enjoy it until lockdown u know.
RT @BeeBabs: Flirting is exercise and good for the soul and the spirit. Invigorating. Who doesn't love a frisson, a back and forth, an exch…
it is hard to make plans when you are a single freelancer with nothing really pulling you anywhere you know
“are you going to move back t-“ I’m waiting to win a free house from omaze, okay
people love to be like 'so what are you doing with your life' like, there is a pandemic on i don't have to answer thesE QUESTIONS
RT @StuffExplaining: New cartoon🌰 https://t.co/w05AJMbvfp

RT @jaboukie: i saw a tik tok about how smiling as a child is a trauma response to a lack of trauma... that really made me think
Dominic Raab finding out barristers don’t make coffee etc etc
Dominic Raab becoming justice secretary, something about finding out the courts are closed, something about the sea being closed, you get the idea
I don’t know anything about vinyl because I am a poser, but it has a really nice crackle and no scratches, thanks and goodnight
Today’s look was “the guy you’ve been on three dates with who has offered to ‘take a look’ at your pilot script despite having never written anything in his life” https://t.co/Jf4l1zhsav

I’m so excited to play it, it has the original inner sleeve 🥲 https://t.co/KXJZPhLHtV

My pivot to Hot Dad is going smoothly https://t.co/CrjTdKxvLQ

@GoingMedieval The plate is mine now, as it was always going to be
I love to sit on a stool in a cafe with no back support and feel my spine collapse on itself like an accordion
Marks & Spencer getting the food department? Once again the corruption of this government is astounding https://t.co/IGHg79Zl0F
RT @PickardJE: it has been a pleasure to run the home office, he said
If we are Instagram friends…you always have permission to use my @ to enter giveaway competitions
Okay I bought the plate, obviously I bought the plate
me when I see a dog when I’m going about my business https://t.co/gxRXdKbUb6
can't believe they are reshuffling Gavin Williamson to lunch monitor at the canteen in Portcullis House
I am going to write in a cafe today? For the first time since before the pandomino? I'm really excited to do no work, eat cake and just people watch???
RT @LightsCameraPod: The Norm Macdonald "moth Joke," one of the greatest jokes every told on television. https://t.co/daC9oPVPsU

RT @NE0NGENESlS: new geep just dropped https://t.co/eSahqwc7cD

@furquan @bencsmoke I would make a Naan Jack Grealish
@bencsmoke @scouse_us not even a glance at the synopsis
@HolstaT Bet he likes some sort of embarrassing bread
@_emilyoram And then you can open it up to other food chat! 😔
@_emilyoram I thought it was!! I would love that question!
@bencsmoke I really love a naan or the bread you get when you go to like a Turkish restaurant
Asked someone on hinge what their favourite type of bread was and they unmatched me, I’m not cut out for this https://t.co/PHJsOHroct

RT @BobsLessons: My favorite #NormMacdonald joke… 😞🙏 https://t.co/bWul1xu7ck

RT @normmacdonald: a man is a coin, no obverse without reverse. If you like, remember Jeff Epstein as monster, destroying lives with a wick…
@neilhumby @Medic_Russell @drphiliplee1 I will never not laugh about the sea being closed
@Medic_Russell @drphiliplee1 It’s almost a sea of food
RT @zackferguson: Chris Whitty responds to Nicki Minaj’s meta-analysis in the Lancet by releasing a diss track so obscene even the BMA woul…
@mollyEatsTofu @nytimes “you mean to tell me a pea shot this cocktail”
RT @davideastUK: [middle english period group chat]
feudalismluvr: havin roast beef w/gravé tonite
groats4days: lol gravé
saxon_69: gravé…
@millieryan91 Omg pls send pics when u wear them out next
@mildred_bonk I like when people have a sense of style that I can see and kind of go “oh yeah that’s them” which I get with u? very comforting x
@mildred_bonk I genuinely really enjoy ur clothing choices
RT @21Soho: THIS SATURDAY!
Join us for the Creatives Of Colour Hang Sesh!
If you're a person of colour in the creative industry this is y…
I like this, it’s very Father Christmas’s second wife who does Pilates and won’t let him eat carbs https://t.co/4xrY9QSmG5

@WillardFoxton I love corduroy all the time, obviously, but I run WARM Willard
Do we think I can pull off corduroy this autumn/winter
RT @thelatinochild: RIP Norm https://t.co/RDUFIgUAfK https://t.co/TVaLOHCx2R

RT @fleur_de_livres: I think the tree goats are ripe https://t.co/IoG9DjStIZ

RT @KenMcGraw: Okay. I think we got it. https://t.co/Dr8xp7YwAy

RT @DanielHugill: The squirrels of Telegraph Hill love a pink wafer. 🐿 @BinAnimals https://t.co/yWoqVSc7aa

I went back for seconds even though I didn’t need them and now I am in pain, thanks and goodnight
RT @CBThorburn: I WAS NOOTING FOR YOU
WE WERE ALL NOOTING FOR YOU https://t.co/jqbYnZtCIz

RT @HornimanMuseum: .@HornimanWalrus at the Met Gala. https://t.co/SK261YVmYR

RT @findmayagirl: 1/15
Dear Maya and everyone,
Lately, we have been feeling pretty demoralised, to be honest.
After the initial week long…
@kitlovelace I adore you as a human being, I hope you know this
RT @kitlovelace: It one thing to have the Chief Medical Officer of the United Kingdom discussing your swollen balls in a national health br…
When will someone fill the gap in the “I hate you AND I am horny for you” market 😔 https://t.co/w2A68YQ4Rv
@estwebber Chris Whitty don’t want none unless you’ve got sums, hun
no-one cares but me, but he passed and got new wiper blades 🥰
@Charis_Canary @xandvt Also 🥺 https://t.co/3zqViYt6mK https://t.co/6ezKs8RTve

RT @ZaraRahim: I’m sorry…who is HE https://t.co/tZM4pEgEvH

RT @RichyCraven: Me: Male friendships should be more open & communicative. We should be more vocal about our struggles & the love we have f…
RT @mralistairgreen: Yeh you losers what’s stopping you being a multi multimillionaire with a netflix distribution deal and a mere $4000 ca…
RT @kitlovelace: Headlines like 'Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Gigantic Vaccine Balls Derail His Wedding' are a ransom-note writer's drea…
Great, Mol’s crying at the squirrel house. https://t.co/bTr72WUDkv
@voidwarbler I bought it when I stayed at Helen Browning’s Royal Oak! They have a little farm shop. I don’t know if they sell online or not x
Great, Mol’s crying at the tiny squirrel bench https://t.co/53B60iTExH
she SAID her cousin’s friend has massive swollen vaccine balls https://t.co/xZsEUYY3eJ

I love to drink my tiny coffee from my tiny pig mug https://t.co/hCV4znJa5L

RT @GoingMedieval: Pictured: Nicki's cousin's friend minutes before his wedding.
(Bibliothèque municipale Ms. 0457, fol. 273v) https://t.co…
RT @floellaumbagabe: The Oy, Mista! You Me Dad? Doll has arrived at the Met Gala. https://t.co/Ijb9sPSNuP

RT @bethanyrutter: Was it worth it Mario ????? Was it ???? https://t.co/4cbSVxbjS4

he SAID “he’s using the new cinematic mode on iphone” #appleevent https://t.co/9WwsKuHR9F

@PhelpsieSarah @EwaSR @hansmollman Honestly thinking I’ll try this question myself. The person who unmatched Mollie was clearly an ass.
@hansmollman I live in corduroy. Do it. You'll have the best time
@hansmollman There is nobody who could pull that off better than you
Operation Mincemeat is mind bogglingly good. So so glad I listened to everyone who said it was good. Wow.
@joey_manic @hansmollman Omg someone reply to anything in my life with this same energy 😭💔
@hansmollman They clearly don’t deserve you (it’s tiger bread obv)
@hansmollman omg absolutely!!! I have a v cute green skirt that makes me feel flirty and some black trousers which make me feel like an mountain climber AND a jacket that makes me feel gay and powerful. highly recommend
@hansmollman Not liking bread (unless for medical reasons) is a deal breaker… this person did you a favour by dropping out (unacceptably) and saving you a quandary about when would be ok to ghost
@xandvt @hansmollman That is honestly the most adorable thing I’ve seen today. And I’ve got a 16 week old puppy in the house
Ran my second ever 5k today, in the rain, listening to Queen. At the risk of sounding like someone who loves running, I LOVE RUNNING.
@hansmollman Where is this tshirt from, it is wonderful. Also, yes, the insights, as per, *airkiss*
How it started How it's going https://t.co/TLiC85u1st

@hansmollman I love this for u boss lady mollsie!!!
@hansmollman They’re these ones! https://t.co/1UqU59CHQp
@hansmollman THEY DON’T DESERVE LOVE. I could talk all night about the smell of bread. They are not sensual people and you are better to be rid of them.
@hansmollman right in this moment, those half baked oven baguette-y things
pls the "million" in this sentence was on the next line and i was like "oh rah $400 for a yacht that's alright" 😭 https://t.co/5cdn9orYKj
@hansmollman Omg it’s genuinely restorative, I can’t explain how sitting in the pub/caff has genuinely made me excited to do bits of work again. Other people (and cake) help
Does anybody else feel under huge pressure from society to feel good about looking fat and ugly?
@hansmollman sorry mollie but you're about to joyfully hand over £7.50
@hansmollman Thank you. I will add this question as a prompt to sift out the losers that don't subscribe to my world view that Tiger Bread is life.
Norm MacDonald's chaotic Burt Reynolds on Celebrity Jeopardy was my fave. RIP! 💔 https://t.co/WWs29MHYgJ

Thank you @acast ! Excited to be part of the team. Xx https://t.co/dKdXR4wCzM
I was on a PANEL!! for the first time ever! and it RULED! put me on your panel please https://t.co/THOpCQ3UNr
@hansmollman Yes!! I got some white high waisted corduroy flares today and I’m ready to be 70s glam all the time
@hansmollman 'couldn't help but wonder: had anyone ever asked me what *my* favourite kind of bread was?' https://t.co/v4Ux6yk4Ei

@heawood Jfc for the last time, I’ve not seen your jumper. Let it go.
@hansmollman It would be a crime if you didn't, Mollie
well this is extremely nice indeed, thank you @funnywomen 💖 https://t.co/supIUIAOVf
It one thing to have the Chief Medical Officer of the United Kingdom discussing your swollen balls in a national health briefing, but after you've just been jilted? If we aren't careful, this pandemic will rob us of our humanity.
@hansmollman the first few pressings and reissues are Mono mixes. Stereo Mixing (meaning different instruments in the L & R speakers) didn’t really become the norm until the late 60s and was considered a bit of gimmick. Mono Pet Sounds is how the mixes were originally intended by Brian